Fatso has a big appetite for energy, so keep it for after dark.

Fatso has a big appetite for energy, so keep it for after dark. Herbert Fuego

Insults about people’s weight are best left unsaid, but my friend’s daughter calling me “Fatso” for stealing a Dorito from her hand was nothing short of spectacular. American body-image problems aside, “fatso” is simply a fun word to say. No idea where she heard it; I was hoping she’d just watched Casper.

While there’s no reason for me to say that word in adult society for the rest of my life, at least I can let out a good “Fatso” at the dispensary. The Cannarado-made hybrid of GMO and Legend OG has become a popular target for extractors, thanks to heavy buds that are teeming with trichomes.

Despite Fatso’s good looks, it’s not very beloved among flower aficionados because of what most perceive as a harsh flavor. I’ve smoked enough booty to be okay with the prospect of a mildly harsh smoke, though, and Fatso’s notorious taste is a bit overblown. While the dry flavor isn’t my favorite, there’s enough gas ’n’ hash there to appease any toker of the old school. Besides, Fatso is much more of a utility strain, anyway.

Reserved purely for after-hours, Fatso is one of the most effective sedatives I’ve had in a long time. Stupid enough to test the hype, I tried it for the first time before lunch. After a very brief period of euphoric curiosity, I was asleep inside of three hours — and this was on the heels of a full night’s sleep and post-lunch espresso. Don’t make the mistake of smoking Fatso before your PJs are on, or it’ll weigh you down until your limbs are mush.

Looks: Long, dense and resinous, Fatso is more muscular than flabby, but heavy all the same. The wintergreen color and thick trichome coverage look like a snow-covered pine tree, and clearly show why this strain is so popular for extractors.

Smell: After looking at and smelling those intimidating buds, we can’t say Fatso doesn’t warn us of what’s to come. Thick notes of fuel are so strong they might as well fume off the flower, with dry hints of grapefruit rinds and a subtle hashy bubble gum aroma.

Flavor: Fatso’s flavor isn’t what attracts users to the strain. There are some enjoyable Diesel and hash notes, but they’re overshadowed by an unavoidable resinous punch, which is too harsh for the majority of tastebuds. Herbal and floral backup flavors don’t provide much to cling to, either.

Effects: Whether it’s a nap, couch marathon or the abyss, Fatso is going to keep you there. This isn’t an oversimplification or exaggeration: Your day will grind to a halt within two hours of smoking this, and it will be completely over within three. The physical effects are powerful to the point of pain relief, and the munchies are extremely strong as well. Reserve Fatso for therapeutic purposes or sleep aid, and little else.

Where to find it: Fatso is easy to locate in Denver right now. Ajoya, Alternative Medicine on Capitol Hill, Alto, Berkeley Dispensary, Bgood, Cannabis Station, the Center, Colorado Harvest Company, Den-Rec, Elements, Emerald Fields, Everbloom, Golden Meds, Green Dragon, Green Man Cannabis, the Green Solution, the Herbal Center, High West Cannabis, the Joint, Kind Love, Lakeshore Cannabis, Leiffa, Life Flower Dispensary, Lightshade, the Lodge, Lucy Sky, Magnolia Road Cannabis Co., Medicine Man, Nature’s Kiss, Oasis Cannabis Superstores, Rocky Mountain High, Silver Stem Fine Cannabis, Simply Pure, Social Cannabis, Solace Meds, Stadium Gardens and Xclusive Cannabis all have it on their menus, though most of them are selling extracted versions of the strain.

Colorado Harvest Co. and Rocky Mountain High grow in-house cuts of Fatso flower, with Colorado Harvest’s currently the best available in Denver. However, most Fatso connoisseurs go after live extracts from Green Dot Labs, Olio and Viola, all of which are instant knockouts. Mile High Dabs and West Edison also produce Fatso concentrates.

Is there a strain you’d like to see profiled? Email marijuana@westword.com.

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